Watch Over Me by Tara Sivec
250 pages
Published June 14, 2013
Our Review
Death changes everyone.....
Eighteen year old Addison lost her mother last year to leukemia. Pain cannot describe the agony that is within her. How do deal with the loss of a parent? Your rock, the one who has been there for you since you were born, who held you when you hurt, who wiped your tears and told you everything is going to be ok. You don't deal, you just do what you can to get through the day. You live the day to day in a fog, in an emotionless bubble and pray that no one asks you if you are ok.
Her parents had the perfect relationship, envied by Addison, high school sweethearts. After her death he started drinking. The day after the loss of his wife, he wiped the house clean of her, all photos, memories and constantly found himself at the bottom of a bottle. This is how he dealt with the pain. She was a senior in high school when she checked her dad into his first rehab, a month after her mother died.
Addison became administrator of her mothers estate and quickly had to learn how to run a business. Addison's mother had a quaint yet very popular bakery in town, that now is Addison's responsibility. She put aside her passion for writing and took over running the business. Day in and day out she spent her time baking and remembering all the cupcakes and cookies she made with her mother, as you can tell, every day was a struggle.
After an emotional suicide attempt Addison began seeing a therapist. Dr. Thompson urges Addison to attend a support group in hopes that speaking with others who are going throughout the same troubles as she is will help.
"The beauty of the 12-steps to recovery is that you can alter them to fit your needs."
"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
Addison has put up walls and locked away her feelings, crippled by the pain of being alone and is mistrustful of everyone around her. When her mom died, everyone left her alone...to fend for herself....family and friends. After a lot of soul searching, Addison realized that she doesn't really want to die, she wants to live but more than that...she wants to feel something other than sadness.
"It's easy to forgive someone for the hurt they've caused you. Forgetting is impossible."
Every night before bed Addison sends a private message to her moms facebook page. Healthy? No! But to her, deleting her page would be like deleting her all together.
Zander, a daily visitor at the bakery has become quite taken by Addison. He checks her out from afar, not in a stalker type sense but more observing. He begins to leaver her cute little notes on napkins. Addison's distrust in people makes her question his motives, but she can't. She feels stronger when he is around, he reminds her what it is like to forget about her problems and just live life.
This is a story about a girl who almost gave up on everything. With a boy who loved her more than she thought possible, and the eyes of the most important person in her life watching over her, she learned how to move forward. She learned how to live.
My favorite quotes:
"Look, if I go into things expecting people to suck, when they finally DO suck, it's not that bad. They acted just like I thought they would, I'm not surprised and I can just move on. If I walked around everyday with my head in the clouds, thinking everyone in my life will never hurt me, it won't be long before they show their true colors and disappoint me. It's easier yo accept the fact that I'm the only one looking out yor me.
"Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. They're of no use yo me when I'm gone. Give me flowers when I'm still here and I can appreciate them."
"One of the best things about Legos is that you don't need instructions. Sometimes, they don't even come with instructions and you just have to work your way through the mess to figure out how everything should work."
"And if something doesn't fit, if one of your pieces just isn't working, you can put it aside and find another one. There are so many pieces to work with that you don't have yo try and force one in where it doesn't belong. You may not need that piece right now, and it may not be helping you right at this moment, but it doesn't mean it isn't important and will t fit somewhere else down the line when you need it more."
"You don't have to try and pick up all of the pieces at once, sometimes you only need to use a few of them at a time. If you try and pick them up and use them at the same time, it's overwhelming and frustrating when you drop them or you just can't make them work."
"Another good thing about Legos. If it falls apart, it doesn't mean it's destroyed. It just means you have to pick up the pieces and start again."
"You can still pick up the pieces, Sugar. They fell apart for a little while, but it doesn't mean anything is damaged. Everything can be fixed. And you don't have to fix it alone. There's always someone who will help you rebuild."
"Friendship is about being there for someone else, helping them through the hard times and celebrating the good times with them. It's about knowing everything about the other person and still loving them and sticking by their side."
"Your anger is like a living breathing thing. It needs to be let out or it's just going to slowly eat away at you."
"You're right. I am upset and I had a bad night, but it would never, ever regret this. Not with you. I'm here because I need you. I'm here because I want you. I'm here because I love you."
"It's the bumps and the bruises, the pain and the fear; it's messy and it's real and it's not some perfect little story that can be tied up in a bow. It's exactly what you should write about."
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